I'm in the process of building something currently, it will be an online course teaching the basics + mentor/mentee/general career advice forum.

Feel free to email me: anthony@makerleader.com w/ any specific questions, I am happy to help (I am currently in a leadership role in the high frequency trading industry).

I am currently developing a program/course to deal exactly with this issue (15+ years as a team lead/manager/director, started in systems admin and development). I want to take a few students one on one through the course. Feel free to email me: students@makerleader.com.

I was going to wait a few weeks, until I had more content ready, but might as well start now.

If anyone else is running into something similar, shoot me a note, we can get a 5-6 person study group together and I'd happy to provide some generic basics, and do a deeper dive into the specific issues you may be having (free of charge obviously, hopefully in exchange for some feedback).

I had some 1 on 1 leadership training years back and it was actually very effective - what was particularly horrific (from my perspective) was when I was videoed in one-on-one meetings with senior team leaders.

Definitely think that training helped me a lot and one small thing I still remember to do all the time is to always ask "What do you think?" when discussing things with people!

“Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather he must recognize that he is who is being asked." - Viktor Frankl

This is the best "reference" book out there in my opinion.

My algorithm for making decisions now boils down to:

Filling out this: https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/2014/02/decision-journal/

and referencing applicable models from Seeking Wisdom and https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/mental-models/

I am developing a course to help people who want to transition from tech to leadership and/or management; shoot me an email: anthony@makerleader.com. I'd love to chat to see what you are struggling with specifically, and what your situation is.

"It would have been so easy, and felt so good in the moment to criticize them harshly."

If you have to fight the urge to criticize someone harshly, I think there are deeper rooted issues, lack of empathy being what comes to mind first. I took this article to be a lengthy way of saying "establish habits to not be a dick to employees", whereas most of the great managers I have had (and strive to be myself) come from the place of I really really want my employees to succeed, and will do what it takes to ensure that.

Maybe you're a special case, but most people are better with some distance to think about the big picture of what they're doing. It's why people like the former Presidents we mentioned waited two days to compose such messages. I spend a lot of time on this stuff and still find that I always have a better approach when waiting.

It's also the point to emphasize that waiting to have a real conversation about it is best no matter how polished you are. You can be a perfect communicator, and taking the time to hear their side, go over examples, and talk about next steps ensures the feedback is actually meaningful (i.e.- leads to positive change). Firing that off a note in a "Real Time Feedback" system does none of that.

I'll bet on the leader that picks their moments for feedback and is deliberate and detailed, over someone reliant on their exact eloquence in the moment every time.

I totally agree with stepping back, analyzing for a period, and figuring out the best approach; I just think if a managers first inclination is to derive pleasure from harshly criticizing someone there is something really wrong with the environment/leadership/their personality.

Cool. I think we're generally in agreement then. For many (most?), leadership is an unnatural act you have to learn, so it takes time not to shoot from the hip on this stuff. And for anyone, no matter how golden their heart, it's easy to get caught up in a moment if you don't do the step back you suggest.

The larger point is to encourage the step back and a broader discussion, and to share some of the data showing that people actually don't want piles of feedback on every little thing every day.

To say this article misses a bit of nuance is a major understatement. The descriptions (w+s, s-w, etc.) are limited, and where people fall on the spectrum (even on this limited black/white list of personality types), ebb and flow on a daily/weekly basis.