Dude, don't harm yourself, it's just no worth it. Even living on welfare is better than giving up life entirely. I have struggled with thoughts like that for years myself, and I've been graced enough to know it's never worth it. My company, Bloomberg, is hiring a lot right now. Email me (http://scr.im/daveslab) at any time if you're looking for a nice place to work, even if it's just to get back on your feet again.
We already use a lot of open source tools (I got pretty good at Python at my current job). We're not as open to using new technologies as I'd like though (there's a review process for each new thing). Unfortunately, for each open source thing we use, management tends to think that they can now cut our deadlines in half since we said it would "save time" :)
Well the one thing you cant do is be totally transparent to them about your "successes/winnings in efficiency". Ie be transparent about mistakes but your only communication of "success" is to deliver the product or a release to production.
Your art is yours. This increases your power as well. The problem with sharing "successes/winnings in efficiency" is that they dont understand what it means. For them its just a reason to shorten the timeline.
This doesn't seem to make sense to me. Here you have technology driving money making as the primary engine. Wouldn't this be a very tense environment to get the algos right?
