This hits close to home. I've had many diverse failures in the past 2 years. Every attempt I've made to create, or build has been thwarted by corruption, power struggles, and lying theives who seem to be getting on just fine.
It is totally demoralizing to feel that there is no possibility of success.
Vivid thoughts of violent revenge are the only sparks of life I feel anymore.
You should move to a different place. That's a sign that your culture (be that your acquaintances, neighborhood, city, state, country, or civilization) does not maintain an environment where you can be reasonably sure that your sacrifices will pay off, and it's easier to get by through stealing and corruption. If this is accurate, your culture will fester and die. Best to leave as soon as possible.
It is a pity the human mind can become a dark abyss.
Be careful indulging thoughts of revenge. They will subside with time, but then decades later you find yourself in a dark place again and all those re-enforced feelings will bubble up again.
Thoughts of revenge are detrimental to success. You aren't guaranteed to be successful no matter how hard you try, but you certainly can't be successful if you ruminate on revenge.
Please if you own a gun, then find a friend with a safe and give it to them. Liquidate all your cryptocurrency so you don't hire a hitman. Don't let this brief period destroy your entire future.
There are people whose children were murdered in front of them by a Nazi soldier and never got "violent revenge" and went on to live fulfilling honorable lives. Is your injustice anywhere near as bad ? Please find the strength to find a way to get through this without resorting to violence.
The world would be better off without some people. That being said, there's a big difference between the call of the void and true intent to act.
I can't imagine that any parent who saw their child murdered wouldn't at least entertain the thought of revenge. But I also see a profound power imbalance in your story. The powerful can act with impunity. Give the parent the power of reprisal and things start to look different. The child might have lived.
Perhaps there would be a bit less corruption and dishonesty in this world if there was a bit more fear of real consequences for ones actions.
It is totally demoralizing to feel that there is no possibility of success.
Vivid thoughts of violent revenge are the only sparks of life I feel anymore.