It seems you're experiencing a couple of problems. Allow me to restate them:
1) You don't have many friends, and (I assume, though this isn't clear) that you wish you had more.
2) You feel your educational institutions are failing you, in the sense that they are not educating you.
3) You are ashamed of yourself, and things that you have done, so much so that it keeps you from moving forward with studying or doing well in school and, (I also assume) working on things outside of school.
You then made a specific request for advice on how you can forget what you see as your shitty past, because you believe this will help you to move forward.
Sound about right?
Well okay let's deal with #1 first. How to get more friends and be less lonely. Most people can't control whether or not other people think they're funny, or think they're cool, or like them. Seriously. Walk up to someone and try to make them like you. It doesn't work, even if you are charming or funny or cool. But what you can control is whether or not you are a good person. A good person helps others out without the expectation of reward. A good person doesn't talk shit about people behind their backs. A good person stands up for those weaker than himself. Perhaps you could start by offering to tutor someone who is struggling with Python. You could spend time talking to an old woman, or someone with a physical disability.
Work on being a good person. Once you've done that, the friends will come, and the loneliness will fix itself.
As a corollary to this, do an inventory of your friends, even though you don't have many, and of your family members. Are they good people? Or are they shallow and small minded or mean or alcoholic? Do they talk about other people behind their backs? Are they negative, or hypercritical? If so, get them out of your life. People can be heat sinks, just like a swimming pool. You don't notice them draining your energy, in fact maybe being around them can seem pleasant. But over time, just as an 80 degree swimming pool will suck heat energy out of your body at an alarming rate, so can negative people.
Which brings me to problem number two. It sounds like your instructors and professors aren't adding anything to your life. You must now either find professors or teachers who do add to your life, and will take an interest in you, or you need to get the fuck out of college. It's okay to give up on formal education, especially if you have a good brain. Learn the shit out of python from books. Build toy applications. Get a job. Contribute to open source. There is more than one way to get an education.
And regarding problem number three, I really like the advice by Swombat above. You ain't alone, bubba. Nobody cares except for you.
And I know this won't be popular advice, but maybe it's time you thought of a change. I don't know that I'd recommend the Indian Army for a change of pace, but I spent 4 years in the US Army as a paratrooper between high school and college, and it helped me to get over my own bullshit. Again, my bullshit was very similar to yours. No friends, didn't like my instructors at college, and my family wasn't much help.
Whatever happens, you're not alone, and good luck. You'd be surprised at how many people there are out there who, once they decide you're a good person, will want to see you succeed.
1) You don't have many friends, and (I assume, though this isn't clear) that you wish you had more.
2) You feel your educational institutions are failing you, in the sense that they are not educating you.
3) You are ashamed of yourself, and things that you have done, so much so that it keeps you from moving forward with studying or doing well in school and, (I also assume) working on things outside of school.
You then made a specific request for advice on how you can forget what you see as your shitty past, because you believe this will help you to move forward.
Sound about right?
Well okay let's deal with #1 first. How to get more friends and be less lonely. Most people can't control whether or not other people think they're funny, or think they're cool, or like them. Seriously. Walk up to someone and try to make them like you. It doesn't work, even if you are charming or funny or cool. But what you can control is whether or not you are a good person. A good person helps others out without the expectation of reward. A good person doesn't talk shit about people behind their backs. A good person stands up for those weaker than himself. Perhaps you could start by offering to tutor someone who is struggling with Python. You could spend time talking to an old woman, or someone with a physical disability.
Work on being a good person. Once you've done that, the friends will come, and the loneliness will fix itself.
As a corollary to this, do an inventory of your friends, even though you don't have many, and of your family members. Are they good people? Or are they shallow and small minded or mean or alcoholic? Do they talk about other people behind their backs? Are they negative, or hypercritical? If so, get them out of your life. People can be heat sinks, just like a swimming pool. You don't notice them draining your energy, in fact maybe being around them can seem pleasant. But over time, just as an 80 degree swimming pool will suck heat energy out of your body at an alarming rate, so can negative people.
Which brings me to problem number two. It sounds like your instructors and professors aren't adding anything to your life. You must now either find professors or teachers who do add to your life, and will take an interest in you, or you need to get the fuck out of college. It's okay to give up on formal education, especially if you have a good brain. Learn the shit out of python from books. Build toy applications. Get a job. Contribute to open source. There is more than one way to get an education.
And regarding problem number three, I really like the advice by Swombat above. You ain't alone, bubba. Nobody cares except for you.
And I know this won't be popular advice, but maybe it's time you thought of a change. I don't know that I'd recommend the Indian Army for a change of pace, but I spent 4 years in the US Army as a paratrooper between high school and college, and it helped me to get over my own bullshit. Again, my bullshit was very similar to yours. No friends, didn't like my instructors at college, and my family wasn't much help.
Whatever happens, you're not alone, and good luck. You'd be surprised at how many people there are out there who, once they decide you're a good person, will want to see you succeed.