A useful analogy is to think about social media in terms of steroid use in cycling.
An athlete on the Tour de France knows most winners cheat and the instance of cheaters in the standings clusters densely toward the top.
To even qualify for the game with cheaters, you need to either be a standard deviation better than they are without their cheat, or compromise and also cheat, which in turn legitimizes their tactics.
Social media exacerbates nascent mental illness by creating this same double bind for young people, where to "succeed," in life by getting access to cliques and networks, school placements, job opportunities, and investment opportunities, you need to "play the game," which today means to fabricate an image of performative conventional success and the perception you are a viable centre of attention.
They know it's wrong, everyone else knows it's probably wrong, but the whole exercise is a temporary suspension of disbelief in exchange for lottery style rewards, provided by sponsors.
Good news on both fronts is you can enjoy riding bicycles or any other sport, and indeed life, without the often horrific and spiritually hollow compromises of elite competition, which social media seems to approximate.
The greatest irony is that it is in more humble and private pursuits where most of the real stories of courage, dignity, and personal triumph that people only fake in performances on social media can truly be found.
Daily frustrations are universal to humans despite money, which can suggest that happiness often requires not complaining and doing things that are uncomfortable.
It can be difficult to know where negative thinking and intrusive thoughts begin and end. So the idea I want to represent my best thoughts in a reasonable way to the world isn't analogous to cheating or faking something.
It seems more pragmatic. Limited use of social media, expression of identity, online interaction and real-life social cohesion all have tremendous benefits.
A better message seems to be resilience over the human condition, normalizing the universal feeling of hopelessness and recognizing that these thoughts don't make you a victim, a diagnosis, ill or abnormal. They make you human.
This is just circumstantial evidence, but from my personal experience of just not participating in "playing the game" it would always result in losing friends and relationships. This was before the time of Facebook and other modern social media, but there are all kinds of social games you are expected to participate in if you want to be part of things. Perhaps I won the game by not participating and never being stressed about these things, but who knows what things would have been like if I didn't close so many doors by not playing along.
I imagine today you would be more isolated than ever before if you decide to not participate. This might not matter much in work life, but for kids in school it is huge.
It's certainly a trade-off: by not partaking in social media and/or popular culture, you are bound to come up empty and alone in modern day. I usually like to say, do whatever you like to do, but remember to wear the world like a loose fitting shirt and don't let it bind you.
3 links. One is pure opinion saying social media is important, another saying it's not, and one is a survey saying that having social media can help or hurt your application, which explicitly contradicts it's own reporting. That adds up to nothing.
"Facebook does not help you in getting any success at all."
Young people often define 'success' basically in terms of popularity and social acceptance.
And FB/Instagram is the basis for that now, in many ways.
I think there's always been considerable pressure upon young people to 'get along' & 'have friends' i.e. in a time before they 'know who they are' - this is a serious issue for kids I think.
And even into one's 20's these days, it seems everyone is 'building their personal brand' and some may find it hard to simply opt out.
I'm glad I hit 30 by the time this inanity started, I think it's an age wherein we start to take control of our identities.
> Facebook does not help you in getting any sucess at all.
I guess it depends on how you use it and what's your success condition. In a world where all your friends use it to communicate and tighten bonds, you staying out of it means losing that experience and being left out.
Right now I have a FB account that I haven't actively used in 5 years probably and I can live just fine. But I imagine for the younger audience it's going to be a bit harder when they realize they are left out of stuff. So sometimes this is no longer about using it to get ahead, it's using it to not be left behind.
I agree with your point, but in my experience it's people 50+ that are actively using FB to maintain social networks. People under 30 seem to only maintain a ghost account and use other apps for their social networking. Your point stands regardless of the platform most popular in your social circle, however.
Yeah, i am like a social media hermit but doing fine in life. I kind of lucked out finding a wife whom I love. I care about her more than anyone in the world. I have 10 or so really close friends that i dont keep in touch with much. However when we see each other face to face (every month or so) it feels as good as ever. I dont feel left out because i'm not looking at their social media posts...
I got my own shit goin own. Thankfully i've been able to separate myself from everything. I dont think that is as 'easy' for younger folks. However, there are always going to be punkers and alt kids right? I'm sure there are some youths who dont live their lives on social media.
There have always been fads that the cool kids do. That is never going to change. You dont have to have a cool presence online.
The perception of cycling is that pretty much everyone is doping. Just like the perception of football, and baseball, rightly or wrongly, is that everyone is doping.
Whereas with soccer and basketball the perception is that, while some of them may try doping, the elite skilled players cannot possibly have gotten that way by doping. So people see Steph Curry, or Neymar, or Kyrie, or Messi, and, again rightly or wrongly, they assume these guys have elite skills that the other players just don't have. The perception is that the other players won't ever get those skills either, no matter how much dope they take. The elite skill guys in basketball and soccer are perceived almost as artists. It's almost like those skills are more like art.
It's just the perception. Most people think basketball and soccer take more skill than football or cycling. May not be a fair perception, but that's just how a lot of people see things.
I'm curious how you're determining how most people perceive things. (Also, baseball probably has the most strict testing of the major sports. Most of the people I know that follow the game casually seem to think there were steroid problems, but they're out of the game now)
>The greatest irony is that it is in more humble and private pursuits where most of the real stories of courage, dignity, and personal triumph that people only fake in performances on social media can truly be found.
I wouldn't go quite that far. Some people are very social and show courage, dignity, and triumph.
However those people aren't making endless posts about their workout routine.
Wow you articulated the phenomenon I've been mulling over for years nicely, trying to put my finger on what exactly went wrong with society after the advent of social media.
Do you have a blog? Would enjoy reading more of your thoughts/writing...
An athlete on the Tour de France knows most winners cheat and the instance of cheaters in the standings clusters densely toward the top.
To even qualify for the game with cheaters, you need to either be a standard deviation better than they are without their cheat, or compromise and also cheat, which in turn legitimizes their tactics.
Social media exacerbates nascent mental illness by creating this same double bind for young people, where to "succeed," in life by getting access to cliques and networks, school placements, job opportunities, and investment opportunities, you need to "play the game," which today means to fabricate an image of performative conventional success and the perception you are a viable centre of attention.
They know it's wrong, everyone else knows it's probably wrong, but the whole exercise is a temporary suspension of disbelief in exchange for lottery style rewards, provided by sponsors.
Good news on both fronts is you can enjoy riding bicycles or any other sport, and indeed life, without the often horrific and spiritually hollow compromises of elite competition, which social media seems to approximate.
The greatest irony is that it is in more humble and private pursuits where most of the real stories of courage, dignity, and personal triumph that people only fake in performances on social media can truly be found.