>I never see the kids in my neighborhood doing that. I've never seen any of them leave the street, and always with the parents on the patio, chatting with each other. The last time I saw a roving band of 9-to-13 year-olds biking around town was probably the early 2000s.
My life was similar. Be home by dark and stay in the neighborhood. Aside from that, it was explorations in the woods, roaming around, and generally just making fun where I found it.
I now have an 11 year old, and we recently put up a basketball hoop. A side effect is that we've started to attract some neighborhood kids. When it's a first time visitor, I do like to query to make sure it's ok that they're out and about, and I've received a refreshing number of "Yeah, I just have to be home by 6" responses. Occasionally, my son will join a small group and "go on an adventure" and I remind him to stay in the neighborhood, and be home by dinner.
Yes, it's a bit nerve-wracking at first, and I'm sure there's a non-zero risk of something happening, but watching my son thrive and the pride he has at having some independence is immeasurable. As parents, I think we forget that our task is not merely to get our kids safely to a certain age, but it's also to enable them to operate in the real world as independent, fully functional humans.
I read a quote recently,"We're not here to stop our kids getting hurt, just to stop them getting maimed or killed". While a bit exaggerated it rings true for me. I don't see how children can build a worthwhile sense of responsible independence without learning where the boundaries are and how to judge risk for themselves.
There is probably a whole book on the subject but I think society has lost some of the ability to look out for others, when I was young if you were hurt or too far from home you could always rely on a neighbour to help and would have no issue in knocking on their door, even the old single guys.
The other side of the argument now is the fear of interacting with somebody elses child as and adult, last year I came across a small girl(5/6) who had fallen and grazed her leg and there was nobody else around, I was really deliberate about not touching her in case parent or guardian came around the corner.
I felt horrible about it but thats the way things are I guess.
>I read a quote recently,"We're not here to stop our kids getting hurt, just to stop them getting maimed or killed".
I agree with this wholeheartedly, but unfortunately the most likely thing to kill them are the cars that are everywhere they might go. My kids are too young for this to be applicable right now, but someday I hope to give them this kind of independence, but I don't know how to do it with the sheer volume of traffic and terrible drivers. I even don't feel safe biking myself.
I'm perfectly happy letting them take risks where they might break bones, but I just don't know how to deal with a world where they're reasonably likely to get killed if they're on the street with a bike.
>The other side of the argument now is the fear of interacting with somebody elses child as and adult, last year I came across a small girl(5/6) who had fallen and grazed her leg and there was nobody else around, I was really deliberate about not touching her in case parent or guardian came around the corner. I felt horrible about it but thats the way things are I guess.
I know the feeling. I was walking my son home from school in downtown Boston and we approached a street corner where two young girls (looked like Grades K and 3) were sitting on the ground. I did go through the mental process of asking myself it was OK to talk to them because my son was with me and then (most importantly) thinking about what I'd want a friendly stranger to do if it was my kid there.
As it turns out, they were dropped off by their school bus, but there was a miscommunication between mom and dad about who was to handle pickup. Fortunately the older one knew dad's phone number. He ignored my call, but immediately called when I followed up with a text to explain the situation.
You do have to be very careful, though. As a coach of youth sports, a common task for the very young kids is to help them tie things. I'll do shoes, but mom or dad have to help with your shorts.
As a kid of seven or eight, I remember roaming out in the forest (I lived in the mountains of western North Carolina) only to come home and find the occasional tick on my head. These days, I'd be scared to death of contracting Lyme Disease, but I have to wonder if that's just media scare mongering.
Nope, Lyme is real and can really mess people up. I wonder if we (and the doctors) are just getting better at diagnosing/more aware of it. I'd say I've known quite a few people that have gotten lyme, some with worse outcomes than others, but that might be selection bias cuz I know lots of "outdoorsy" people, and I'm getting older. The other part is, have we gotten rid of lots of natural predators of ticks?
The tick load on deer in the Upper Midwest of the US has gone up, and the number of deer is up too compared to 40 years ago. Winter ticks are actually killing moose in both the Upper Midwest and New England, and different species of ticks are being found in the Upper Midwest than used to be found (like Lone Star tick).
My life was similar. Be home by dark and stay in the neighborhood. Aside from that, it was explorations in the woods, roaming around, and generally just making fun where I found it.
I now have an 11 year old, and we recently put up a basketball hoop. A side effect is that we've started to attract some neighborhood kids. When it's a first time visitor, I do like to query to make sure it's ok that they're out and about, and I've received a refreshing number of "Yeah, I just have to be home by 6" responses. Occasionally, my son will join a small group and "go on an adventure" and I remind him to stay in the neighborhood, and be home by dinner.
Yes, it's a bit nerve-wracking at first, and I'm sure there's a non-zero risk of something happening, but watching my son thrive and the pride he has at having some independence is immeasurable. As parents, I think we forget that our task is not merely to get our kids safely to a certain age, but it's also to enable them to operate in the real world as independent, fully functional humans.