Partly because, in that situation, I'm the one who's not upset. I'm not the one who's on the verge of tears. I therefore am probably more able to make the adjustment at that moment.

Eh. Consistently applied, that logic lets some people (maybe not even the most emotional ones involved) overrule the thoughts and feelings of others with their emotions. One person has thoughtful opinions, another has emotional needs.

Who should be considered? Well, both.

At least over time. I'm not saying finding the balance in a relationship is appropriate at the moment when people are emotional, but it is possible to emotionally neglect or bully someone who is fairly even-keeled.

And, of course, I've seen less emotive women bullied by emotionally unstable men. I wouldn't say it's necessarily one gender getting the short end of this dysfunctional communication pattern.