I'm afraid your experience is not universal. There are plenty of people I care very deeply about, yet Facebook reminding me of their birthdays is a godsend. Children I do somewhat better with, but names are always a struggle for me. A friend had triplets a couple months into the pandemic, and I'm still struggling there. Meanwhile a the drop of a hat I can bring to mind some technical detail that I heard once a decade ago and never used.
People's minds work differently, just because something comes easily to you does not mean it does to everyone else.
Maybe, I just feel like it shouldn't matter for anyone if you remember their kids names, unless it's your brothers or sisters kids or your own kids. Not remembering a cousins kids names in my family would be a minor faux pas, but I have like... dozens of cousins in two continents, so it's not a big deal. Not remembering a friends kids name should never be an issue IMO. Even much less so with birthdays.
But we're all entitled to our own opinions. I suppose I am just way more easy-going than some of the people here.
People's minds work differently, just because something comes easily to you does not mean it does to everyone else.