Man, I would love for him to look at my 2003 Ford Ranger. I turned on the headlights and the anti-lock breaks engaged and the gauges randomly fluctuated. That's the most recent 'fun' story I have with it... Had a parasitic drain in this thing for 5+ years, but it operates 100% fine as long as I keep the battery charged with a tickle charger and can avoid jumping it. I've mentioned this to nearly every mechanic in the last 5+ years, no one has ever found the issue. Three said replace the battery, 1 said get a new alternator. Seems like those 2 would be the go-to for mechanics these days.