> Have you done any stupid soloing? Did it happen when you were having a particularly hard time with your mental health?

I have but it's a drop in the bucket (thankfully). I've done a few routes at a time in my life (over a decade ago) where I wasn't ready for them, and they weren't the most appropriate for soloing.

Other areas of my life were not great at the time. I was not suicidal, but it was a very low point for sure. At the time doing those routes gave me absolute control where I had none elsewhere and lifted me from a dark place into a place of pure focus and presence, and although they were not really conscious decisions (they should have been), I think this is the reason I did them. I don't want to encourage this, but it actually helped me, it gave me confidence and relief. In the interim years, I've sometimes checked myself, and pulled myself back when I think I'm about to solo something for the wrong reasons. I don't want to die if I can help it, but I can totally empathise with Austin, I've seen the entrance to the path he went down, I know why he went down it, I don't blame him.

While I wasn't suicidal, I think there is a spectrum of "despair" on which it exists, and anyone in despair might reach for free soloing as a release and way to gain control. And from personal experience I'm saying it doesn't not work, but it's neither a long term or safe solution when you are in that state of mind.

Not the poster you replied to, but yes.

They’re a direct correlation between low points in my life and doing some fucking stupid climbs without protection.

Also agree it’s basically just highballing but … more.