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My mother cleans schools for a living, and she once remarked to me that most of the teaching staff in the grammar schools[1] she cleaned would avoid making conversation with the cleaners, and some would even avoid making eye contact, which was contrary to non-selective schools, where most of the teaching staff would make conversation with the cleaners.

[1] Grammar schools are academically-selective, state-funded schools in the UK and elsewhere—staff and students alike are generally of a higher socioeconomic milieu than in non-selective, state-funded schools.



Is that what people mean by lack or respect?

Seems more like disinterest or a lack of friendliness.


Not initiating conversation could be down to disinterest, yes.

But I think consistently refusing eye contact does constitute a lack of respect, if the person refusing to return eye contact has no problem returning it to the upper echelons of staff. And, having attended one of those grammar schools, I know that some of the teachers who refused to return eye contact had no issue with faux friendliness.


Seems like what is more offensive here is the power imbalance, where one group can ignore the pretense or lie of friendliness.

I could see that expectation being a form of respect.




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