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For a start, you'll have a bunch of internal applications that are not hardened to be exposed on the public internet, and that you have neither the time nor the money to replace. A "zero trust" product vendor will therefore offer you something exactly like a VPN, but for some reason they'll say it's not a VPN.

You will have "heuristics to detect anomalies" and users won't be allowed to directly see what 'anomalies' are being detected, for security reasons. Instead, if someone plugs their phone into their laptop to charge it, they'll start getting network timeouts when they try to use the ERP system. After waiting 30 minutes for it to come back online, then calling the helpdesk, they'll be told that the charging phone counts as an unencrypted disk and they need to unplug it.

Other heuristics will create a huge backlog of 'maybe' alerts they'll invite you to manually review. Warning, a user who hasn't logged into the holiday booking system in 9 months just logged into the holiday booking system. Finding the real problems will be like looking for a needle in a haystack.

In-house infrastructure - which your team provides - will start appearing flaky, with mysterious outages. Public-internet SaaS products like Github will start looking better and better.

It will turn out the "zero trust" system doesn't work with your office's networked printers, access control system, CCTV cameras, meeting room conferencing system, server BMCs, networked UPSes, networked oscilloscopes, networked 3D printers, networked telephones, and so on.

It will also turn out, once a vendor is giving you "completely managed endpoints, strong hardening of the endpoint" you can't update without going through them first. And they aren't in any hurry to support the latest OS versions. Maybe they'll support Ubuntu 24.04 some time in 2025? Of course you'll pay them the same whether they hit that target or not.



Ah, I see you've played knifey-spooney before.


> if someone plugs their phone into their laptop to charge it, they'll start getting network timeouts when they try to use the ERP system. After waiting 30 minutes for it to come back online, then calling the helpdesk, they'll be told that the charging phone counts as an unencrypted disk and they need to unplug it.

Good thing they killed the nic or blocked the LAN traffic on the laptop while it's connected to that high speed cellular network modem! And as we all know, once a potentially malicious payload delivering unencrypted drive is unplugged, the threat is gone and you can have your network back. If that weren't true, you'd see folks sprinkling usb thumb drives in the parking lots of their target's offices. What's next, usb cables with microcontrollers, keyloggers, and wifi?

/s

If helpdesk is making calls like that, add all the zero trust you want, you're still screwed




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