VCs don't arrange soft landings out of affection or "butt sniffing". It's about control and power.
VCs like to say, "failure is OK, get up and try again" but the truth of the matter, in the Valley, is that you're completely fucking screwed post-faceplant unless the VCs are willing to help you out and place you. You're completely reliant on them for your career and reputation, because they will be the ones who decide (and I use the word decide rather than judge because it really is up to them) whether you failed in good faith or were incompetent and shall become untouchable. This means that you can't buck them, even if they decide to fire you and even if they decide to kill your company (to suit the needs of a competitor that they're also funding, and that they've already picked as the winner over you).
In other words, the soft landings aren't about affection but control. They want an ecosystem where unless they extend something that sorta looks like an out-of-band favor ("sorry that it didn't work out, but my friend is looking for a VP/Eng Post-B, 250k and 3%") the founder is completely fucked.
I guess what I was getting at is that the primary driver is economics which might be called "a meritocracy of money" rather than social status along the lines of "Do I know your parents" or arbitrary criteria like which church a person attends.
That's a bit different and probably an improvement over going to the local bank for a loan where "what will my fraternity brothers think?" can easily be a part of the loan officer's analysis. VC's at least have FU money. That doesn't make them good people but it does provide some social latitude.
VCs like to say, "failure is OK, get up and try again" but the truth of the matter, in the Valley, is that you're completely fucking screwed post-faceplant unless the VCs are willing to help you out and place you. You're completely reliant on them for your career and reputation, because they will be the ones who decide (and I use the word decide rather than judge because it really is up to them) whether you failed in good faith or were incompetent and shall become untouchable. This means that you can't buck them, even if they decide to fire you and even if they decide to kill your company (to suit the needs of a competitor that they're also funding, and that they've already picked as the winner over you).
In other words, the soft landings aren't about affection but control. They want an ecosystem where unless they extend something that sorta looks like an out-of-band favor ("sorry that it didn't work out, but my friend is looking for a VP/Eng Post-B, 250k and 3%") the founder is completely fucked.